Abigail

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2Ma4BvMUwU

Impatient, I walked to the door. I didn’t had to try hard to look upset, I had that look on my face since morning. I twisted the key in the door, one time, two times and it got opened.

There he was, standing still, not saying a word, my brother-in-law.  He was an average guy, not too tall, not too short. His body shape was too revealed by the suit he was wearing. I rarely got to see him dressed in his uniform but I didn’t stop to think why he was wearing it now. He was alone and he was keeping his hat in his hands. While we were looking at each other, not saying a thing, I could feel how his eyes were travelling thru my eyes until the very bottom of my heart, undressing it, leaving it naked. A strange feeling of shame passed thru my body from head to toe. I knew I had to say something but my lips just wouldn’t move. I guess it took me some time until I finally said, with a low voice, not taking my eyes away from him:

-         Gary… what brings you here?

Steven and his brother were close, but not too close. We used to go to his place now and then but the fact that Gary was still single at his 45 years old, was a barrier between us. Everybody in their family was feeling a bit strange while talking about Gary and I knew how much his parents tried to convince him to start his own family.Gary was rarely coming to visit us and he was always acting like he was in a hurry.

-         Can I come in please?

-         I’m sorry Gary. Please, come in.

We both walked to the living room, I was following him, but he knew the house so he seated on the couch. I sat down on the other couch in front of him. We were looking in each other eyes again, but what I felt earlier was gone long time ago. We both knew that this unanounced visit was unusual so I had to ask him:

-         Gary, did anything wrong happen?

By this time I was convinced that this question had hunted my whole day. He stopped looking at me, trying to understand the pattern on the carpet. He looked calm, very profound and somehow lost; he seemed to be another Gary, not the Gary I used to know. I have never seen him this confused.

-         Abbey, we had a call this evening.

He took a deep breath, stopped playing with his hat and rose in his feet.

-         I am sorry Abbey, Steven had an accident. He’s in the hospital but the doctors think he will not make it. I am sorry I have to be the one to tell you this. Believe me, it is not easy for me either. I mean, he was…

I lost him; my mind could not hear anything else but the words “he had an accident” repeated again and again and again. I was still looking at him through a big glass; I could see him but not hear a thing. I was watching him moving around in circles, using his hands to explain something, suddenly bursting to tears, than covering his face with his hands. All this was like a puppet theatre for me as I could not do anything. I was captive in my own body. As much as I wanted to move or say anything, I couldn’t. My body was weaker and weaker and things were moving around caught in a haotic dance.

-         Where am I? Please let me out! Please, I want to see my husband…

Everything was black, and I was falling hopelessly in an endless hole. I was scared and desperately looking for something to save myself. It seemed like infinity until I heard somebody crying my name in the dark. It seemed like the voice was coming to me as it sounded louder and louder:

-                 Abbey!       Abbey!   Abbey!